This is killin' me

They have got to stop doing this. Seriously. I've been having some questionable heart issues going on, and this just isn't good for that. I was all set to write a blog entry at how disappointed I was that the Sox were slumping at a really bad time and how the Yankees seem to have that killer instinct for a winning streak at just the right time. I was all set to try to put an optimistic spin on things, talking about how Lester's start was actually decent and how it was good to have Wily Mo in the lineup. I was all set to try to put on a brave face while inside I was starting to panic.

Then they go and do something like this. Again. For the third time in five games. The Sox pulled out another game that I had emotionally written off. A game that I told myself was no longer worth my caring about. They teased me with two ludicrous-looking strikeouts in the bottom of the ninth, and then gave me Doug Mirabelli as my only hope? Mirabelli had a hell of an at-bat, and I think single-handedly made that young reliever (Fausto Carmona- good name) come unglued. He hit Doug and Gonzalez on consecutive pitches, and then Kevin Youkilis did what he does best- he worked the count mercilessly and finally Carmona walked him out of sheer frustration. And then Loretta. Sweet Loretta. Bangs a 96-mph fastball off the monster and sends everyone home delirious again. Makes everyone forget the 2-run homer Timlin gave up. Makes everyone forget the feeling of despair when we're down 3-0 in the first inning. It's just unreal. I've been all set to focus on the future and take the long view of this team, but they keep being relevant in the here and now. It's tough on the ticker.

What Mirabelli's game-saving at-bat disguised, however, is that the guy is just about done. You could put me firmly in the "best backup catcher in baseball" camp, but even I have to acknowledge that this guy is not even close to being an adequate fill-in while Tek gets healthy. If Wakefield is not pitching, Mirabelli is below-average defensively. At the plate, he looks really slow. He's lost so much bat speed that it's almost unfair to watch him face someone with a decent fastball. We need help at catcher.

Ken Huckabay is not the answer. Well, he's the situational answer- if the situation is "we need a guy to dislocate Jeter's shoulder." That's a more specialized job than Dave Roberts had in 2004. I don't think you can carry a guy on the roster for that. But when the situation is "solid semi-regular catcher," Huckabay will not get to too far. He barely reached the Mendoza line at Pawtucket. It may be time for Theo and the crew to start lighting up the switchboard and watching the waiver wire. Actually, the good thing about the Yankees actually being ahead by percentage points is that right now, they can't block any waiver-wire trades the Sox want to make. This is why acting quickly is a pretty keen idea- though I imagine either Theo knows this or someone probably whispered it to him.

The options are not that terrible. I count no less than three quality catchers whose last name starts with "L" who would be adequate fill-ins. Javy Lopez, Mike Lieberthal, and Jason LaRue are all on teams out of contention and have been rumored to be anywhere between willing and desperate to get the hell off their loser teams. They're all solid on both sides of the plate (actually behind the plate and off to the side)- though Lopez' numbers are down a bit and Lieberthal's numbers are clouded by some injuries earlier in the year. I can't quantify what Tek's presence means to the pitching staff, but I'd feel comfortable with any of these guys back there. Plus, it's not like having your knee scoped means you can't help the pitchers prepare anymore, right? Tek will still do that, right? Like helping Timlin pitch to Travis "Pronk" Hafner, right? Because that would be real good if he could help with that.

Finally, speaking of dislocating Jeter's shoulder, I was taken a bit by surprise by the ad I saw on the internet yesterday. Jeter's got himself a fragrance. Isn't that sweet? Britney has two already, so I guess Jeter figured he better get moving. My feelings for Jeter aside (right), I'm just not a real believer in having athletes market cologne. These are guys who emit foul body odor as a requirement of their jobs- if they don't stink, they're probably not doing very well. Someone on the radio made the point that guys like Jeter and Michael Jordan (who also has a fragrance) could smell like camels and would still be sex symbols- they're Jeter and Jordan for pete's sake! This doesn't mean that I have any inclination to want to smell like them. I don't think that a signature fragrance is what is holding me back from Jeter-like appeal.

Plus I just keep thinking of that great ESPN Sportscenter commercial with Gheorge Muresan pitching cologne: "Would you like to smell like me?" Um, thanks big guy, I'll just grab the last of the Old Spice.