Free? Pass.

I kind of like this way that free agent declarations come out in dribs and drabs- it gives the smallminded and overwhelmed among us the opportunity to digest. Sort of after having gorged on the lengthy baseball season and the filling yet not terribly satisfying baseball postseason, we've all decided collectively to do a gastric bypass of our baseball intake. We can only handle so much at once.

So who fills our egg-sized appetite pouch today? Greg Maddux, Barry Zito, Bernie Williams, Eric Gagne (maybe), Roger Clemens (maybe) and Andy Pettitte (maybe). In other words, Barry Zito. Greg Maddux will never pitch for an American League team, especially not at this point in his career. He could actually phase himself into perhaps the last ever player/coach roles with someone like Los Angeles, San Francisco, or Milwaukee. He's more qualified than most pitching coaches out there, and he's still got a year or two left in his arm.

Clemens and Pettitte are both uncertain as to whether or not they'd return at all or just retire. These are two guys who've both won championships and had great success. They both opted to go to the Astros because they wanted to pitch at home. As much as I think they both like the idea of being courted by other teams desperate for their pitching intensity and skill, why would they go anywhere? If they're healthy and able to pitch effectively, why wouldn't they stay with the Astros? The Astros have money to spend, and much to lose (PR-wise) if they let these guys go. I'd still like to see Clemens finish things out in Boston (not least of which is because he's still a top-15 pitcher in the league), but I don't see it happening.

Bernie Williams is a class act. I don't cheer for him, as a career Yankee, but I respect what he's done in the game. He's a borderline hall-of-famer who has brought the game nothing but respect and dedication. But would I sign him? Hell no. The guy makes Doug Mirabelli's bat look like Gary Sheffield's. And his defensive skills, which have been slipping for a couple of years, are an enormous liability. I'd like to see him go out a Yankee. One, that would just be a nice form of respect- he's of a dying breed of one-team superstars. And two, it would mean the Yankees carry his dead weight for another year. Retire, Bernie. Don't go out like Willie Mays.

And Gagne. I can't quite figure this one out- he filed for free agency provisionally, but he's not a free agent just yet. The Dodgers get to decide on an option, which they'll probably turn down. Then he gets to decide on an option, which he may or may not turn down. If he finally hits the market, should the Sox take a shot at him? That's a big question. This could be like the Wade Miller/Matt Mantei/David Wells sort of signing. You commit little up front, but if things pan out, the salary could escalate. It didn't work out too well with Mantei or Miller, but the Sox didn't tie up too many resources on those. Wells, I think, earned his money while he was here. He was the Sox most effective starter last year. I'd give Gagne an incentivized deal- maybe $3.5 million base, with another three or four (or five) tied to appearances and performance. I don't think that this will be the best offer on the table, though.

Finally, Zito. The word is that the Red Sox are not on his radar, though he should probably be on the Red Sox radar. Zito has been that most elusive thing: a consistent, better-than-average, durable (never missed a start) pitcher in the American League. His career ERA against some very good AL teams has been around 3.55, if I'm not mistaken. His last two years haven't been spectacular, but he's been very solid. Very solid. He's a great #2 in almost anybody's rotation, and a #1 for many teams. With Schilling, Beckett, Papelbon, Wakefield, and someone else (Lester? Tavarez? Gabbard? Snyder?), there's a question whether the Sox need to pay for a #2. That would mean probably at least 4 years and at least $10 million per. Probably a bit more and a bit longer, given Zito's durability. Is that committing too much to our pitching, which may just need to be stronger at the back end and a bit deeper? I know you can never have too much pitching, but you can spend too much on pitching where you don't need to. I like Zito. I'd like him with the Sox, but I don't know if I'd do that deal either.

I haven't liked too many of these free agents yet. That stinks. The Sox need help in their bullpen. They need a starter. They need a good solid outfielder. There's got to be someone out there they can sign, afford, and benefit from. Can Alfonso Soriano pitch, too?