Is this the request line? I'd like to be taller, please.

I tried. I swear I tried. I was up at 10:05 p.m. last night and I flipped on the game. I watched the first couple of innings. By the end of the second inning, though, it was too hard. It looked like a game, like a team I didn't recognize and had no emotional stake in- other than it making me really sad. Another loss to Oakland, 2-1 this time, and the second-string Red Sox have only mustered thirteen hits in the last two games, scoring only one run. David Ortiz is spending the day at Mass General getting cardiac tests. Manny and Wily Mo were both sent back to Boston early to rest. Still no sniff of returns from Varitek, Trot, or Wakefield. On the positive side- the only one at this point- is that Josh Beckett pitched his second very solid game in a row. Seven innings, five hits, two runs. That's more than a quality start. That's one to grow on.

I think even the most die-hard Red Sox fans (please see "Sons of Sam Horn" for more information) have begun to look to the future, trying to salvage whatever is possible from the terrible wreckage of this second-half. Going out on that limb myself and assuming that there's not that much left for the TEAM to play for this season, allow me to offer a list of things I'd still like to see out of the rest of the season:

-51 Home Runs for David Ortiz. Assuming he can be cleared to play by the beginning of September, he'll have a month to hit four home runs. Thus far this season, that's been about 10-days worth. Establishing Big Papi as the single-season Red Sox record holder will cap off what has been a truly remarkable season, and a truly remarkable four seasons for Papi. It will also make it harder for MVP voters to dismiss him because of the Sox second-half nosedive. Derek Jeter for MVP? Don't get me started.

-3000 Strikeouts and 17 wins for Curt Schilling. I don't think that Schilling is a hall-of-famer. He's been a hell of a pitcher for nearly twenty years, but I think he's not going to have the wins, the Cy Youngs, or the total dominance that will enshrine him. He pitches tonight and will get to 3000 strikeouts, becoming only the 14th or 15th pitcher to get there. That's a nice club.

-35 to 40 Saves for Papelbon and an ERA under 1.00. Similarly to Papi, the fortunes of the Sox may doom Papelbon's chances for individual awards. He won't get the Cy Young, despite a season as a closer that has been in the same league as Eric Gagne's or Dennis Eckersley's award-winning seasons. I think Rookie of the Year is a 50-50 shot at this point. If he can maintain this dominance, he is FAR more valuable to the Sox than he would be an average to slightly-above average starter. The leverage of innings he gives the Sox this season has been unreal.

-More At-Bats for Dustin Pedroia, Carlos Pena, Eric Hinske, and Wily Mo Pena. With the futures of Trot Nixon, Mark Loretta, and Alex Gonzalez in the air, the Sox need more data before they make these decisions. Pedroia needs some more time with big-league pitching. He's going to start next year, but they need to decide about which side of the 2nd base bag that will be (I vote 2B). If Carlos and Wily Mo, the Pena Posse, can show some pop and some plate discipline, you could be seeing your right corners right there. Hinske needs to make the team as a utility guy/bench bat. This is his time.

-A .400 OBP for Youkilis. The (apparently non-greek) Greek God of Walks has got to get back up to .400. He's just gotta.

-17 wins for Beckett and an ERA under 5.00. There's a lot riding on this guy. We need him to finish strong, if only to stop us from going completely into the deep end during the off-season. Getting a couple more strong starts will be the difference between a solid season and a worrisome one.

-Wakefield and Varitek back healthy and productive. We need these guys to finish the season on the active roster and in the starting rotation and lineup. They're major parts of the puzzle for next year. It would be good to know they're ready.

-David Wells traded. I think that Wells is probably our most consistent starter at this point, but because of that, and because he's done with us after this season, he's got value right now. The Dodgers and the Padres, among others, could use a quality arm for their playoff runs. With the waiver-trade deadline fast approaching, the Sox could really cash in on some desperation from these teams with a quality prospect or two. Thanks for the help, Jumbo, but happy trails.

-Some counseling for Terry Francona. The guy's close to tears at every press conference and spitting up blood in the dugout. Didn't Bob Tewksbury just get his degree in sports psychology? Can we give him a call?

I have some post-season wishes also, but this is my list for the rest of the year. Feel free to add your own. I'm supposed to be encouraging comments. What is there left to cheer for this year?