The Ballad of Slappy McBluelips

(I present you the following, with apologies to Lennon/McCartney)

Went one-for-fourteen against De-troit
Made a costly error at third
Last year’s MVP
All my teammates hate me
And all of New York flips me the bird

Christ you know it ain’t easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They gonna blame this on me...

First of all, a great big “You’re Welcome” to all of the people who took my advice and bet against my predictions. I went 1-3 in series predictions, thus making anyone who bet against me 3-1. I did get the A’s-Twins series right, which I was actually the most confident about, and I think EVERYONE got the Yankees-Tigers series wrong, which makes me feel a little better.

After the first game of that Yankees series, I think everyone in the world had the Yankees going all the way for their first win of the Bush Administration. That’s one positive effect I can point to for the last six years of Dubya, at least- no Yankee titles. But that lineup, despite some suspicions about the pitching, seemed good enough to bust up any comers.

But then Kenny Rogers decided that seven straight losses to the Yankees was enough. He shrugged off the fact that he’d never won in the post-season, almost singlehandedly lost the 1996 World Series (pitching for the Yankees) and had a playoff ERA north of six. His curveball was really nasty- it was one time I was willing to trade off getting to see the ESPN K-Zone graphic in exchange for being subjected to Joe Morgan’s voice. The arc on Uncle Charlie was just sick. They couldn’t hit him. And then Bonderman. Jeremy Bonderman. Or as WCBS radio would put it, Jerry Bonderman. The Yankees were reduced to looking like the Royals before the Red Sox rolled in to town. And thus goes another Yankees season.

For some reason, it makes me feel a little bit better about the Red Sox season. I know, they won ten more games than us, and had a shot at a title. We didn’t. What it did prove is that $200 million is no guarantee of anything. Having a lineup with eight all-stars and no fewer than four probable hall-of-famers on your team doesn’t ice the championship.

So now the Yankees may actually have as many major questions as the Red Sox. What to do with their pitching? They have several big albatross contracts to deal with- Randy Johnson, Mike Mussina, Jaret Wright, Carl Pavano. Only Wang is reasonably likely to pitch well next year. Joe Torre is apparently a question mark, though Brian Cashman seemed incredulous to the thought that Joe wouldn’t be back. Alex Rodriguez, with his 1-14 showing that is celebrated and lamented in song, may be facing a completely untenable situation in New York. Anaheim (or Boston) may beckon. Those decisions may be taken out of Cashman’s hands.

We’ve seen what happens when Steinbrenner wants something to happen. It happens. I think he’ll can Torre, hire Sweet Lou Pinella, spin A-Rod off to another team, go hard after Aramis Ramirez (who can become a free agent this year) and sign that kick-ass Japanese pitcher whose name I forget. Daisuke something. The one from the World Baseball Classic. The Yankees will be different. But they’ll be back. Oh, yes, my friends. They’ll be back.

In the meantime, Go Tigers!