Full Pen, Empty Belli

Daisuke Matsuzaka, Hideki Okajima, J.D. Drew, Julio Lugo, Manny Ramirez...and on and on. The big names have been bounced around like, in the words of the Swedish Chef, "poppin' corn in threeeee-deeee!" This has already been a very exciting offseason (despite the fact that actually no real moves have been made) and promises to get even more interesting. There is one thing that the Sox need to address, however, that could be nearly as important as any other- getting a backup catcher. With the ultimate realization that Doug Mirabelli's ability to catch a knuckleball just is not worth his complete absence of bat speed, the Sox are in the market for what is probably the greatest job in the world.

A backup catcher plays one day a week, maybe two, if you count pinch-hitting. He gets to hang out on the bench and in the clubhouse with the ballclub every day, goofing around with very little responsibilities. In Boston, with Varitek, there probably isn't even much game-planning or strategizing to do- Tek probably takes care of that. And hell, if you're just catching Wakefield, it's not as if you've got to decide whether to throw an inside slider or some high heat. I wonder if they even have signs for Wakefield. For all of this, you get paid somewhere between $600,000 and $1.5 million. Even if you occasionally embarrass yourself by missing a wicked knuckler, you're still making three to seven times what the President of the United States earns annually. That's a sweet gig.

But who will the Sox turn to? There was a lot of talk about Greg Zaun, who was probably the best-hitting backup catcher out there. After some false starts, he ultimately re-signed with the Blue Jays. Rod Barajas, the temp-to-hire catcher from the Rangers, is available now. It was thought that he would sign with the Jays, but that fell apart for some reason- my guess is salary. Barajas is probably the best available option, but he made $3.2 million with Texas last year, and still probably thinks of himself as at least a quasi-starter, or maybe super-backup, and may not like taking a pay cut to under $2 million. If he lingers long enough on the market, the Sox may be able to snatch him up. That's a tough game of chicken, though, because the Sox really do need someone decent. Todd Pratt, Mike Lieberthal, Mike Piazza(!), Sandy Alomar Jr., and Chris Widger are still out there, but they're all old, too expensive, or not likely to accept a backup role. Two-time gold glove winner Bengie Molina is still available. He had expressed some displeasure with the Blue Jays earlier this year over his lack of playing time, and the resigning of Zaun might make him less likely to rejoin the Jays. It would also, however, make him unlikely to join the Sox, unless we can work out some sort of division of labor that might help Tek rest up and regain some of his offensive form. That's probably a pipe dream. Oddly, one of the most viable options might actually be Einar Diaz. For those who watch NESN religiously, you'll remember him as the man Sean MacDonough referred to as "Hall of Famer Einar Diaz" when he was with Cleveland for the arrogant way he dealt with a couple of Pedro Martinez brushback pitches. He hasn't played really since 2005, but has the sort of veteran skills that might fit well in that role.