How do you root against a guy named Boof?

Last night the Sox lost an extremely uninteresting game to the Twins, 7-3. It marked the return of Tim Wakefield, who didn't have his good stuff working. The Sox have a chance to play spoiler in this series, but to be honest, I'd much rather see the Twins and Tigers in the playoffs than the White Sox or Angels or the other contenders. Obviously the Sox aren't going to win anything themselves this year. It doesn't much matter whether the Twins win the division and the Tigers get the wild card or vice-versa. They're both going to be in the post-season, and they're both really good stories. It's actually sort of comforting to see the White Sox in a position of possibly missing the playoffs. At least the Red Sox waited two years after their World Series win for their collapse.

So tonight will mark the return of Curt Schilling. He'll be on a pitch count of about 80, but it would be great to see him pitch effectively as the season winds down and to know he'll head into the off-season and next spring as more of a known quantity. The trouble is that he's pitching against a young guy from the Twins named Boof Bonser. I think, and I could be wrong about this, that Boof was his nickname (duh) but that he legally changed it to his first name. That's committment. That's a baseball guy you have to cheer for. This is the sort of committment that I'd like to see Trot (Christopher) Nixon or Coco (Covelli Loyce) Crisp or Chipper (Larry) Jones exercise. That way if any of these guys made the Hall of Fame, their plaque wouldn't have to say Larry "Chipper" Jones. Of all those guys, Chipper's probably the only one with a halfway decent chance.

Aside from those guys, there aren't a lot of good baseball nicknames anymore- in fact, those aren't really even that good. There are a few that harken back to the good old days of Dizzy, the Little Professor, Big Poison, Little Poison, Three-Finger, Dummy, the Splendid Splinter, the Iron Horse, the Big Train, the Georgia Peach, and the Flying Dutchman. Frank Thomas is the Big Hurt. David Ortiz is Big Papi. Travis Hafner is Pronk. Do you have to be a Designated Hitter to have a good nickname these days? Not always, but it helps. Randy Johnson is the Big Unit. Roger Clemens is Rocket. Keep your A-Rods and I-Rods and Man-Rams. Those aren't nicknames. Those are lazy sportswriters in action. We need more good nicknames. Only The Big Unit made a list of the top baseball nicknames of all time (this was an espn.com poll a couple of years ago- just google it). Chris Berman can only do so much- and he deals more in volume than in quality- not so many of his catch on.

We've got to be able to come up with something for Kevin Youkilis, Jonathan Papelbon, Dustin Pedroia, Craig Hansen, or Manny Delcarmen. They're still young enough for us to have something stick with them. If we can't have playoff baseball in Boston, at least we can lead the league in great nicknames. Some color for the fall.